I Want To Be Like James Dean
by lalalovely.x
Summary: A small collection of Jess' younger years. How he became the rebelling bad boy we all know and love.
1. Jingling Bells In New York

_Summary: A small collection of Jess' younger years. How he became the rebelling bad boy we all know and love._

_Disclaimer: Don't own_

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Jingling Bells In New York

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The small room was dark and quiet. There was a single boy perched upon an old desk, his fingertips pressed against the frozen glass of his bedroom window. Many stories below, the streets were empty; with the exception of a few lonesome cars passing by now and then, or a swaying drunk hopelessly wondering the sidewalks. Now, to any New Yorker, the streets mirrored any other dull night. But to Jess, the streets tonight were magical. Because tonight, he was waiting for his favorite person in the world to arrive with jingling bells on his shiny red sleigh. Tonight, all his Christmas wishes would come true. 

Jess pulled his hands away from the window, creating small clear dots on the fogged up glass, and grasped the crumpled piece of paper beside him. He clutched it tight in his little hands; and he waited.

Whilst many kids would send their Christmas wish lists off to the North Pole, Jess was determined to deliver his himself. And whilst Jess' list was much shorter than that of the average four year old, he had wanted it to come true more than anything. So much, that he had followed his mother around the apartment all week offering her his toys to play with to help cheer her up. He just knew that if he could get his mom to smile, he would be good enough for Santa. And then when Samuel, the slightly older boy down the hall had told Jess he would be on the naughty list if he didn't do exactly what he told him to, Jess had ended up forfeiting his small, but entire toy collection, along with the blueberry muffins his uncle had sent up. So if there was anything Jess Mariano was sure of, it was that Santa would be paying him a visit tonight.

Jess let out a wide yawn and rested his head against the windowsill. He hoped that Santa didn't have far to come. But he would wait forever if he had to.

Sirens were now echoing from a distance, but the only sound the hopeful little boy could hear was the jingling of Santa's bells. Santa was coming, wasn't he?

It was nearing morning, and the cold was enough to make him shiver. But he waited with the list held tightly to his chest, more determined than ever.

Jess Mariano only had one wish this Christmas;

_Dear Santa, please bring Daddy home to me and Mommy._

- x - x - x - x -

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_AN: What did you think? Like it? Hate it? Please review! I have the next chapter writen, and will post quickly if I get enough reviews. :)_


	2. A Hopeful Birthday

_Disclaimer: Jess is not mine, unfortunately :(_

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A Hopeful Birthday

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If there was anything that Jess Mariano had learnt, it was that it was best to not get your hopes up. Not about yourself, and especially not about anyone else. Here he was, an eight year old boy, and he already had enough examples in his life to make him lose all hope in everything. How about the time he had waited up for Santa all night, but he had never come. Or the time his mom had passed out drunk, and left Jess to get abused by her no good boyfriend on his birthday. He had learnt not to expect anything on his birthdays, just like he didn't expect anything today. And most of all, he had learnt to accept that he would never have a father. He didn't deserve one. 

Jess wondered the sidewalk, wondering where his mom was on his birthday. He had woken to an empty apartment, and had to get ready for school on his own. It wasn't as if he hadn't done that before, infact he had done so on more occasions than one. But he had hoped that maybe this morning would be different. That he would wake up to a warm hug and a paper bag packed full of lunch that he could bring to school like all his other school mates. Rule number one;_ never_ get your hopes up.

Jess made his way down to the subway to catch his usual train that took him to school in the mornings. He had become accustom to the odd looks he would often get on the train. After all, he was an eight year old boy down in the subway without a hand to hold. But Jess didn't need one; the continuous absence of his mother had taught him to take care of himself. But that didn't stop him from wanting one.

Like every other day, Jess took a seat in the back carriage, where there were less people, meaning stares were minimal. Only today, Jess was not alone on the seat. Beside him was a tattered old book, so curiously, he picked it up and turned it over to glance at the front cover. _Oliver Twist_. Jess looked up, trying to find the owner of the book he was holding, but deciding nobody was frantically looking for it, he opened it and stared down at the text. Some of the words were tricky for him to understand, but as he read he began to think that maybe this was all he would need. None of the gaping strangers around him mattered. It was just him and the words. And he couldn't help but think that maybe someone out there did care.

Because it was the first birthday present Jess had ever recieved.

- x - x - x - x -

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_AN: Sorry for another short chapter, I'll work on making the next one longer. The next chapter will also include dialogue. So please, please review and I promise I will work twice as hard:)_

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